Several years ago while browsing through the Post Exchange (the department store for the military) in Germany, I stopped my shopping cart to look at an item that caught my interest. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pang on my arm. When I turned to identify the origin of the pain, I saw a little boy around 3 or 4 years of age in the cart next to mine. During that time, I worked primarily with pre-school and school age children, so my initial thought was that this was a child with whom I’d worked and I’d failed to acknowledge him. However, this was not the case. I did not recognize this little person. As I looked at the child, with his hand still raised in a fist, I watched him attempt to contort his face to the meanest grimace he could muster – eyes squinted and jaw clinched. Then came these words with a growl from his mouth, “I’m BAD!” Immediately my heart sank. It was not tis forceful punch that hurt most. Rather, it was the realization that someone had told this child that he was bad. He, in turn, embraced it and was acting out what it meant to him.

How often did we (or do we now) accept or embrace what is said to us or about us? Do we take on those words as our identity and start behaving as such? Do we assess and label others based on our personal opinions? Perhaps the better question to ask is, “What makes that opinion correct?” Our words have so much power. Just as our words can build a boy or mend a man, they can do the opposite, also. So many times I have heard children (as well as adults) say they would take a physical whipping over a ‘tongue (verbal) whipping” from their parents any day. They point out that the physical pain only lasts for a few minutes. In retrospect, the old nursery rhyme that says “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” could not be farther from the truth. Words can hurt forever! Always keep in mind that broken bones usually heal significantly faster than broken hearts and spirits.

INSIGHT: Sticks & stones may break my bones, but words can break my spirit…